Before I go any further, you already understand that you need help, so I urge you to seek it. Contact your GP or even a youth centre or counseling service. You really do need medical help, so please, I’m begging you, get the help you need.
As a reformed self harmer, myself, I totally understand the addiction behind the cutting and how damn difficult it is to stop once you start.
When you hurt yourself, you release endorphins. Which give you a temporary ‘high’ if you will, it makes you feel good.
But there are other ways of feeling good, like going for a walk. This too, releases endorphins.
A form of therapy that I was suggested, was to put a BLUNT butter knife if the freezer until it got nice and cold, then, if I felt the urge to hurt myself, I’d use the cold butter knife.
It wouldn’t cut though, but it would give the feeling, and sometimes that is enough.
Something you should do though is to throw away all of the things you are using to hurt yourself. Remember to wrap them up first or put them in a safe sharps disposal container.
This simple act will make you feel better and it will show you that you are stronger than your self harm.
Your will power is a huge player here, too.
Every time you feel the urge to cut, I want you to do something else, like take that walk I mentioned earlier. Cuddle your pet, or a loved one, take a drive, read a good book or throw on some happy music and dance yourself silly around the house.
Anything to keep your mind off cutting.
These are all helpful, but the point is that you get some help, lovely.
This is no way to live and you don’t need to punish yourself for anything.
You are a remarkable and amazing human. You have so much to give to the world and you are so incredibly loved by those around you.
It’s okay to be self conscious, but don’t let it rule your world.
You have to rule your world. Not your self harm, nor your negative self esteem. You. You as a whole.
Take control and slay your demons. You don’t need them. You don’t need a blade.
You need to love yourself and accept and respect who you are.
You are a beautiful creature, Anon.
And please, love yourself enough to get the help you need.
Please take care and stay strong.
Thank you, sweetling :) You’re very kind.
I know I say this to a lot of my followers - but talking helps.
It really does.
You will need to speak with him about this, because it does concern him and I’m certain that he would be upset to know that you’re hurting.
Just sit down and have a casual chat to him about how you’re feeling. Chances are, you might just need some alone time, so maybe on a weekend, you can have a few days to yourself and so can he, or something to that effect.
Living with your partner is a big deal, and it can take some getting used to, but if you feel like you can’t talk to him about this sort of thing, that will be a big negative for your relationship.
I trust that you’re happy with him and that you love him?
That’s even more of a reason for you to talk about these issues with him.
I’m certain he will care and that he’d want to talk about it with you, rather than you keeping it bottled up inside you.
Just talk to him, lovely. Let him know how you feel and together, you can work through it :)
You can do it <3
Stop looking in the mirror :)
Sometimes that’s unavoidable, but what you first need to do is remove negative words like ‘disgusting’ from your vocabulary when speaking about your body.
Every time you look at yourself and feel a negative word creeping up, push it away with a positive one.
You do not look disgusting. You look amazing and healthy :)
It’s that easy!
Remind yourself daily that you are beautifully unique human being.
Jump out of bed in the morning and give yourself a big smile and a compliment.
Face your days with a smile and positivity and you will shine.
Your confidence will grow as you help yourself to love who you are inside and out.
And you deserve that love, so don’t deny it to yourself!!
Good Luck <3
I think you and your girlfriend need to sit down and have a discussion about this.
Ask her why she so constantly puts herself down. Mention to her, that when she puts herself down that it hurts you as well, and let her know that you struggle with certain things too.
She obviously knows you love her, but sometimes us girls say things to get some closure.
I doubt very much that if she were to put herself down, that you would agree with her, because you love her and you think she’s beautiful.
But she might making sure, for lack of a better term.
Making sure that you still think she’s beautiful.
Explain to her that the more she says nasty things about herself, the less likely she is to become positive about herself.
I actually just had a neat idea.
You could write her some cute little post it notes and put them in places she would find them every day (this can work for your own body image too :) )
Write sweet, positive and uplifting things on little notes and pop one in her purse, her handbag, in her car and on her pillow, maybe the bedside table or even on the fridge.
Just kind little reminders that to you, she is amazing and beautiful and that you love her.
Sometimes all we need is that little bit of clarity to make us feel better.
But do ask her what it is that makes her feel the way she does. When you know that, you can work on that together.
But make sure she is open to becoming more positive within herself, remind her, that if she doesn’t want it truly, it isn’t likely to happen as it should. She needs to put effort in and want to be happy and positive within herself :)
Please let me know how you guys go :)
I think “captivated” sounds like a better word than obsessed :)
No one is ‘more physically attractive’ than anyone else. We are all different and we are all beautiful.
Trust me, you are worthy of her, even if you feel you aren’t. This girl is not above you in anyway, you are both equals.
You need to remember that she is just like you, she isn’t out of your league.
She is a human being, just like you :)
It does take some guts to ask someone out, but if you hold yourself in the same regard as you hold her, you will feel better.
Allow yourself to have the confidence you seek. Look at yourself and give yourself a compliment.
In order to love someone, you must love yourself first, so give yourself over to loving yourself.
I think you need a bit of courage as well, it is scary, and we all fear rejection.
But if, in the event, that she isn’t interested in more than a friendship, at least you still have her as your friend, don’t you?
And she’s still in your life :)
Give it a try, if you’re already good friends, that should make it easier for you to ask her out on a date or something :)
Best of luck!
Firstly, I’m so proud of you for no longer self harming! That’s so awesome and you really should be proud of yourself for accomplishing that!
Now, as for the part about exhibiting symptoms of ED…
Please, get yourself to a GP. If you don’t want to eat and you think you might have the early signs of an eating disorder, please, please, seek medical attention.
I’m glad that you feel good about your body, but feeling good about your body also means you need to take care of yourself and that means ensuring that you don’t slip into an eating disorder trap.
That is not something you want.
It’s kind of another version of self harm, and you should really try and nip it in the bud before it truly takes hold and takes over your life.
So please lovely, go and speak to your doctor about this.
It could save your life.
Lovely, stop wishing and start doing.
No one ever said the path to self acceptance was easy, it’s far from it. Loving your body means undoing years of torment and bullying, both from yourself and others and it is a practice that can take quite some time, but so long as you start the journey, you will be making progress.
So please, I beg you, take that step.
Undoing those years of negativity will take some work, but take a step back and look at all of the amazing things your body has done and can do for you.
You have strong legs and arms, you have a beating heart and working internal organs.
Your body is more than what you see, so much more. And you are so much more than what you think of yourself.
Everyday that you have doubt in yourself and deny yourself love and respect, you are strengthening those bullies in your past, the memory of them remains because they made you feel so badly about yourself, so I say it’s time to do something that those bullies would hate - start loving yourself.
Don’t let these past experiences hold you back and don’t give those awful people the satisfaction of knowing their cruel words still haunt you to this day, no, you are so much better than that and you deserve so much more!
Most importantly though, do it for you.
You don’t want to spend the rest of your life at war with yourself. Life is far too short and too precious to worry about how others see you.
Now, men like what they like.
Some prefer thin ladies, some prefer bigger ladies, some like both, some like other men. All men are different and they are all attracted to different things.
Don’t you dare think, for one minute, that you are not worthy of the love of another human being because of your size. Everyone deserves love. Every single person. And if no one has the right to tell you that you haven’t the right to be loved because of your body, that’s garbage.
We are human and being loved is something that we all need and all deserve.
I have a quick suggestion that will help both your mental and physical health too - take a walk :)
Once a day, for about half an hour a day, then you can gradually go for longer.
But walking is great, any exercise is. It releases endorphins and helps you to feel good and happy. Even if you do some star-jumps or dance around the house!
Get your body moving and you will see how quickly you start to feel better :)
Being smaller than you are doesn’t necessarily mean that you will be happier.
It may, but you need to fix how you think first.
If you aren’t happy with yourself now, there’s no guarantee that you’ll be happy if you get smaller. Love yourself now, and you will love yourself always.
Self love is inclusive of everyone, no matter their size, shape, gender, sexual preference, race, everyone.
So please, leap into loving your body.
Believe me, it’ll be the best thing you’ll ever do :)
I’m so terribly sorry for the delay, and I apologise sincerely to those of you who sent in asks.
I’m about to answer some now :) I’ll try and get through them all, but if yours doesn’t come up, I haven’t forgotten, I’ll get to it :)
I hope you’re all doing well!